"With as little comment as possible," Mark Binker of the Greensboro News and Record, author of the Capital Beat blog in Raleigh, offers his readers three bills the N.C. House Health Committee, chaired by Dr. Bob England (D-Cleveland & Rutherford), is scheduled to take up for consideration, June 18.
They are House Bill 1380, the Medical Marijuana Act, sponsored by Greensboro Rep. Earl Jones, (D-Guilford) making "the possession of marijuana for medical purposes legal," Mark writes.
"No," he writes, "as I read the bill, being hung over from not having any pot is not a medical condition that would qualify."
Also on the committee calendar Thursday is H.B. 1579, Increase Alcohol Taxes, that Mark offered, without irony, "would triple the tax on beer as a way of discouraging young people from getting drunk on beer."
But at the top of the list, sponsored by Rep. Verla Insko (D-Orange), is H.B. 1122, "NC Colon Hydrotherapy Licensure," regulating the practice, says Mark, "of shooting water up folk's backsides."
And so, among over 500 boards and commissions in North Carolina state government the 19th Century Pragmatism Movement (the same people who gave us phrenology, among them those who were the ones who first pushed to license all skills and trades, now want to add licensing of "Colon Hydrotherapy."
Essentially, this is the professional administration of performing an enema on another, which is done using everything from coffee to mineral water, with mixtures of everything in between.
Last fall two ladies, one a practitioner, the other her follower, voluntary aide and frequent patient(?), made their first presentation in Raleigh to a Republican member of the House who also asked me to be there before the meeting.
This House Member had no clue why they chose them to make their first presentation in front of, and I had no clue why the Member then asked for me to be there. The note simply had a place and time, the subject being "Colon Health."
Before the gathering, I had sort of guessed correctly that the meeting was to be about regulating what I thought was known as "Colonics," a fashionable thing in Los Angeles, I gathered from watching to many motion pictures.
The pending meeting was subject for some snickering and eye-rolling, that sort of thing, as it approached. I suspended any temptation to make jokes, even though a healthy sense of humor is important if you want to keep a straight face around the legislature.
The two ladies were not stuck-up about the subject, though it clearly was no laughing matter to them either. They took colon health seriously enough not to flinch when, after they had made their case for state licensure, I asked them "what compelling interest does North Carolina have in licensing this practice?"
Such a question usually "divides the cat from the cat house," flushing out those who just want the state to outlaw their competition.
Such people think that question is about their motives, which it is, of course. But it's an honest question, especially if you are only basely familiar with your colon. Such people also betray themselves in how they answer that question.
If they answer, for example, that "it just is!" you can safely bet putting competitors out of business is all they really want to do.
Our two colon-health advocates, however, were prepared with horrific stories (with pictures) showing the downside of work done by less experienced practitioners, who apparently have been shooting water up their neighbors "backsides," and in a more primitive way than our advocate thought safe more than I realized.
She was new to North Carolina, and had been shocked to discover the methods of colon flushing as practiced among the primitives in North Carolina.
One thing is certain. In the unlikely event her competition gets wind of this legislation, it's certain the bill will get stopped up in the Senate.
We did give them some honest advice, as I recall. The way they are presently in Raleigh, we told them, it was unlikely a Republican legislator could help them with a bill.
We pointed them in the direction of Dr. England, in the House and Dr. Purcell in the Senate, and we recommended also some of the more strident "Unitarian, Pragmatist and Progressive" Democrats in both the House and Senate.
Rep. Insko's name came up, who eventually was either asked by Dr. England to sponsor H.B. 1122 or sponsored it out of belief that the methods our advocate's competition practiced this art in North Carolina really was a clear and present danger.
It passed an introductory First Reading in the House and, without objection, was passed by the Speaker to the Dr. England's Health Committee. Which leaves me wondering, as I did then, about the unintended consequences of the bill, should it become law.
I can't help but wonder also if there are any Shovel Ready projects in this pressing matter that are worthy of federal stimulus funding.
If the bill does pass there's certain to be a request from the Community Colleges for classes to train and license, and also to increase awareness of the need for colon health vigilance.
Maybe they can find some money for that in the Golden Leaf slush fund.
They are House Bill 1380, the Medical Marijuana Act, sponsored by Greensboro Rep. Earl Jones, (D-Guilford) making "the possession of marijuana for medical purposes legal," Mark writes.
"No," he writes, "as I read the bill, being hung over from not having any pot is not a medical condition that would qualify."
Also on the committee calendar Thursday is H.B. 1579, Increase Alcohol Taxes, that Mark offered, without irony, "would triple the tax on beer as a way of discouraging young people from getting drunk on beer."
But at the top of the list, sponsored by Rep. Verla Insko (D-Orange), is H.B. 1122, "NC Colon Hydrotherapy Licensure," regulating the practice, says Mark, "of shooting water up folk's backsides."
And so, among over 500 boards and commissions in North Carolina state government the 19th Century Pragmatism Movement (the same people who gave us phrenology, among them those who were the ones who first pushed to license all skills and trades, now want to add licensing of "Colon Hydrotherapy."
Essentially, this is the professional administration of performing an enema on another, which is done using everything from coffee to mineral water, with mixtures of everything in between.
Last fall two ladies, one a practitioner, the other her follower, voluntary aide and frequent patient(?), made their first presentation in Raleigh to a Republican member of the House who also asked me to be there before the meeting.
This House Member had no clue why they chose them to make their first presentation in front of, and I had no clue why the Member then asked for me to be there. The note simply had a place and time, the subject being "Colon Health."
Before the gathering, I had sort of guessed correctly that the meeting was to be about regulating what I thought was known as "Colonics," a fashionable thing in Los Angeles, I gathered from watching to many motion pictures.
The pending meeting was subject for some snickering and eye-rolling, that sort of thing, as it approached. I suspended any temptation to make jokes, even though a healthy sense of humor is important if you want to keep a straight face around the legislature.
The two ladies were not stuck-up about the subject, though it clearly was no laughing matter to them either. They took colon health seriously enough not to flinch when, after they had made their case for state licensure, I asked them "what compelling interest does North Carolina have in licensing this practice?"
Such a question usually "divides the cat from the cat house," flushing out those who just want the state to outlaw their competition.
Such people think that question is about their motives, which it is, of course. But it's an honest question, especially if you are only basely familiar with your colon. Such people also betray themselves in how they answer that question.
If they answer, for example, that "it just is!" you can safely bet putting competitors out of business is all they really want to do.
Our two colon-health advocates, however, were prepared with horrific stories (with pictures) showing the downside of work done by less experienced practitioners, who apparently have been shooting water up their neighbors "backsides," and in a more primitive way than our advocate thought safe more than I realized.
She was new to North Carolina, and had been shocked to discover the methods of colon flushing as practiced among the primitives in North Carolina.
One thing is certain. In the unlikely event her competition gets wind of this legislation, it's certain the bill will get stopped up in the Senate.
We did give them some honest advice, as I recall. The way they are presently in Raleigh, we told them, it was unlikely a Republican legislator could help them with a bill.
We pointed them in the direction of Dr. England, in the House and Dr. Purcell in the Senate, and we recommended also some of the more strident "Unitarian, Pragmatist and Progressive" Democrats in both the House and Senate.
Rep. Insko's name came up, who eventually was either asked by Dr. England to sponsor H.B. 1122 or sponsored it out of belief that the methods our advocate's competition practiced this art in North Carolina really was a clear and present danger.
It passed an introductory First Reading in the House and, without objection, was passed by the Speaker to the Dr. England's Health Committee. Which leaves me wondering, as I did then, about the unintended consequences of the bill, should it become law.
I can't help but wonder also if there are any Shovel Ready projects in this pressing matter that are worthy of federal stimulus funding.
If the bill does pass there's certain to be a request from the Community Colleges for classes to train and license, and also to increase awareness of the need for colon health vigilance.
Maybe they can find some money for that in the Golden Leaf slush fund.
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